From the Better Hostess Series Hors d’Oeuvres & Appetizers
Sarah and I have now tried to ‘cook’ (I use the word loosely) a few recipes from this book, and can safely conclude that it should be thrown back into the depths of hell whence it came. I would be intrigued to meet the author, the lovely Miss Elizabeth Price (should she even exist), because there are so, so many questions I would love to ask her. Above all else: “why?”
Prawns in a Mould. Oh Dear Lord, Prawns in a Mould. Where do we start?
Let’s take a look at the ingredients shall we:
Simple enough – just your everyday caramel/prawn/jelly combo, nothing too offensive there – now on to the recipe…
It’s safe to say it’s probably the easiest dish you could ever attempt (although I’m not sure why you would, after reading this), and you could probably substitute the prawns for any shellfish, meat, fruit or – let’s not forget what era we are in – anything vaguely edible you find lying around your kitchen.
We read it several times thinking that surely there should be more steps. Weren’t we meant to sauté the prawns? Season the aspic? Or perhaps add some kind of flavouring other than fish stock?
Nope. That was definitely it.
Aesthetically stunning, it had been given every chance to succeed in life. The sounds of admiration were plentiful as we presented the dish to our loved ones, but the oooohs very quickly turned to arrrrghhhs as one by one, we tasted and fell down to Prawns in a Mould.
Sarah: (After she gagged, ran to the laundry and spat all contents into the bin, slowly regained some colour and possibly consciousness, could only manage) oh……
Emma: After watching Sarah’s reaction and thinking she may have been “slightly overreacting”, I could only make it as far as the sink, where I ran cold water into my mouth for at least 15 minutes, trying to wash away the unspeakably horrendous taste. Everything was wrong with it, but the fishy jelly (both texture and smell) was too much to bear. Even now, as I write this post, I have a look of disgust on my face, and queasiness in my belly.*
Anthony: From the Kings of the Devil.
Alister: That’s exactly what I expect cat food to taste like.
Max: Even the prawn tasted funny. I may be turned off prawns for life.
Alex: I love it! Can I have it for dinner?! (Note: Alex is 8, and is currently undergoing tests for Ageusia).
*To be fair, we did not try Lizzy’s recommendation of eating it “with thinly sliced brown bread and butter”, because after the first bite we were Googling the fastest route to the Emergency Room to get our stomachs pumped.
Note well, note very, very well: DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME!